Of course appalling right-wingers will be feeling vindicated over last night's episode of 60 Minutes and their story on the "failure" of multiculturalism. But they so hate diversity they would say that, wouldn't they?

And the report by Michael Usher really was a disgrace. It was a truly appalling beatup of a non-problem. Thankfully, the team redeemed themselves with their unflinching portrayal of the terrifyingly cataclysmic risks posed by the damaged Japanese nuclear reactors. Surely journalism at its finest!

But back to the reactionaries: They'll be having a field day with sharia law advocate Ibrahim Siddiq-Conlon, a fascinating fellow traveller about whom I've written before. The more I read about Ibrahim, the more solidarity I feel with him and his cause! Here are this visionary's thoughts on democracy:

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: I hate democracy. Absolutely. With my heart, my speech and my hands, as much as I can.
MICHAEL USHER: You're living in a democracy.

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: Well, unfortunately. I would love the majority of Australia to be Islamic...

Now, while I have great respect for his religion, which has been so horribly, unfairly vilified and misrepresented in the media lately, and which is of course light years ahead of the primitive, punitive, and deeply misogynistic Christianity, whose appalling legacy of hate and greed we still suffer on a daily basis, I don't actually wish for the nation to be converted to it. No, the spiritual doctrine I wish to dominate here is a progressive, socialist, and environmentally friendly one. So, just replace the word "Islamic" above with "Green" and I pretty much concur with that statement.

Now, of course right-wingers will be saying: "Oh see, Derek says he hates democracy. He must be a totalitarian!"

Well, yes, I do hate democracy (in a loving way of course). I hate it because it is not actually what it purports to be. It is a shamocracy - a massive, ongoing barbaric scam that is inflicted upon the population by the planet-plundering, peenie-waving patriarchy! Frankly, we will never have a true democracy until this eeevil regime, and all who support it, are simply excluded from the electoral process.

Just as Siddiq-Conlon wishes that all Australians pledge their ultimate allegiance to Mohammed, I believe they should all submit to Gaia. (And by the way I don't mean that in a religious way. Actually, I'm being very scientific. You just have to listen to our Tim Flannery to know what will happen to humanity if we don't. And he's a scientist, you know.) Only those who do that first should be allowed to vote. Then it will be a true democracy.

Now, if you take that idea, then you'll really start to see why I think Ibrahim is a wonderful ally in the (loving) war against our "democracy". Again, just replace the words "Islam", "Muslim" and "sharia" with "Green" and you'll see that he's articulating our agenda very well.

MICHAEL USHER: He says all true Muslims must adhere to the Islamic law, or Shari'a, and fight to destroy any other political system.

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: So actually we're being oppressed by your current system.

MICHAEL USHER: You want to bring down the Government?

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: Well, that's the aim of every Muslim essentially. Every Muslim has been commanded to, as I say, hate any other system except Islam and work for it.

MICHAEL USHER: Shari'a law, in many ways, is extremely strict. It seems, um... Almost medieval in some ways.

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: Well, OK, yeah, we cut off hands but I tell you what, there are going to be no people stealing. If you knew you were going to get your hand cut off, I tell you what, you ain't going to steal.

Okay, cutting off hands seems a little harsh - well, at least for the time being. Just cutting off their power should suffice. But if people are proving very difficult to attitudinally reconstruct, and haven't become completely carbon neutral, then maybe we will have to take such drastic measures.

The interview continues:

MICHAEL USHER: Surely there are moderate, reasonable Muslims.

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: As long as they love Shari'a and hate democracy, that's fine.

MICHAEL USHER: They have to hate democracy?

IBRAHIM SIDDIQ-CONLON: They have to. You have to hate it.

Again, insert the word Green as instructed. Do that, and what's not to like about what he's saying? Hmm?

Okay, so Ibrahim himself may not be the world's most zealous environmentalist. However, I think you can see why we really are on the same page, can't you?

And remember what our fellow travellers in the unions like to say about the need for solidarity: "together we are strong". That's why we should maintain and cultivate our relationships with the likes of Siddiq-Conlon. We have similar aims. Together we are strong. Together we can bring down democracy.

Okay, it might get a little problematic after that. Still, one step at time, hmm?